Sweaty Boot Rash
by otherrealmwriter
Summary: Zim is sent to Dib's Hi Skool gym class but what happens when there is a mix of sweaty boots, dodge ball and a brilliant idea?


**I don't own Invader Zim okay? I know I should be updating my other works but this idea hit me and I had to do it. It's just a humor oneshot so if it's not very long, don't get onto me for that, this story is just written for teh lulz. But enough with this A/N, on with the fic!**

It had come time for one of the most dreaded classes of the day. Gym class. While not completely weak, Dib was never one for the activities. Often being picked last and having balls thrown out you no matter the game did get rather old after awhile. His years of hunting the paranormal did give him a good bit of endurance and speed, but that only helped you so far when the whole class was aiming at you. There was also the fact that now that he was in Hi-Skool, he was required to change. Black jeans, a blue tshirt and a black trench coat and boots did give one a certain mystique that a pair of shorts and a plain white tshirt did not. However, one thing that Dib was thankful about was that Zim was not in this class. It would only encourage him. And with the other kids becoming more sympathetic to Zim, than him, it would only be a matter of time till he had Torque throwing the medicine balls at his head.

As Dib sat on the bench, he removed his boots, he took a sniff and stuck his tongue out. While the right pair of boots could give you a better grip on some terrain than a pair of sneakers, they did tend to make your feet rather sweaty. A breeding ground for Trichophyton aka athelte's foot. Many a Bigfoot got away because his feet got too sweaty and swollen. _One makes sacrifices for fashion. _ He thought as he swapped the boots out for a pair of red high top sneakers with a white circle on them and headed to the gym when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Blech!" the voice exclaimed.

"Zim!" Dib yelled. "But you aren't in this class!"

"Foolish human!" Zim yelled. "They changed my schedule after I blew up the home economics kitchen. Seems like you add sodium nitrate to things but you can't leave the nitrate out of sodium nitrate when adding it to soup."

Dib opened his mouth to speak but then stopped. Being a scientist's son he learned from his toddler years what sodium did in water. But just how Zim got pure sodium into a home economics class was beyond him. "I thought it was something with a pressure cooker." Dib sighed.

"Nope." Zim smiled. "What could you do with a pressure cooker that would destroy a mock kitchen?"

"Best I don't tell you. You'll find it out on your own Dib sighed.

Zim looked around to where the smell was coming from. It wasn't the usual boys locker room smell of sweat, puberty and too much body spray. Looking behind him, traced the smell to the pair of boots sitting in front of Dib's locker. "DIb-stink!" Zim yelled at Dib.

"What?" Dib said rolling his eyes.

"Your boots stink!" Zim said as the teacher ushered them into the gym. Dib tuned out the usual ranting and raving coming from the teacher and stared over at Zim. It may not have been much but he knew what was coming next now that Zim was in Dib's gym class. The coach was lecturing a brown haired and a blonde boy in the class about not copying their butts when they copied the district required empathy worksheet.

"You will take these self esteem worksheets and you will make copies. But let me be clear. You will only copy the worksheet. Do not copy your butts again." The coach said, causing Dib to look away from Zim. _Oh yeah, when we started soccer we got sheets that was nothing but the blonde kid's butt..._

"Do not copy my butt." The blonde boy said.

"AGAIN!" The coach yelled.

"Do not copy my butt..." The boy said as he left for the copy room.

"Now that those imbiciles are out of here, we will watch this empathy video. Tomorrow you will play battle royale dodge ball with this pile of balls over there." The coach said.

At this Dib got an idea. Zim seemed visibly disgusted at his boots, he decided to make them even sweatier for his plan. After a full night running through the woods trying to get his feet nice and sweaty, he then headed to gym class with his plan. He was used to what his class had called, 'sweaty boot rash'. It simply came with the territory when you chased after the paranormal and Zim all the time in tall leather boots. But if Zim was repulsed by just the smell, contact would make his reaction much worse.

The next day he changed quickly and headed into the gym, slipping his boots into the pile of dodge balls so that only he would notice them. He then waited for the rest of the class to come in. Slipping in with the rest of them, he looked at Zim and then to the gym teacher.

"Okay class. We are doing dodge ball today. Battle royale style because some people complained about getting picked last all the time." He said looking over at Dib. "So if some people can't swallow being picked last, it is every man for himself."

"Fine with me." Dib smirked looking at Zim.

"Now get to that pile and start throwing!" The teacher ordered.

Zim had taken this opportunity to grab a ball and threw them at his classmates, which he was pretty good at. Evading the class, Dib returned to where his boots were and grabbed them, one in each hand. Looking over the pile of balls, Dib spotted where Zim was throwing dodge balls around at the rest of the class.

"Take that Smacky!" Zim yelled as he hit Torque in the head. "Keef! Stop! What you are saying has a disgusting context in Hi-Skool!" he yelled as another ball was thrown in Keef's direction. "I will not go to the prom with you Keef! No!"

Dib had to bend over laughing at that one. _Focus! You know what you and your boots are here for! _Steeling his resolve, he looked up and yelled, "Zim!"

"Huh?" Zim asked looking over.

"Take this!" Dib yelled as he grabbed one of his boots from the pile and thew it at Zim, coming in full contact with his face, knocking Zim over and the boot to fall open on Zim's face.

Zim took a deep breath of the fungusy sweaty odor and got up yelling. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SWEATHY BOOT RASH! FROM DIB! DIB'S SWEATY BOOT RASH!"

"Have some more!" Dib yelled as he threw the other boot at Zim, causing Zim to run around disgusted even more, and making nauseated sounds. Dib then rolled back in laughter at what he had done until he had noticed the gym teacher tapping his foot in front at him. "Ummmm... Coach..."

"I thought I had a bad enough day when that one idiot got stuck in the copier. But no. You throw your sweaty boots at Zim." He took a notepad and wrote on it. _I know where this is going..._ Dib thought as his face fell. "Take your sweaty stinky boots and this note and go to the counselor's office."

"Again?" Dib sighed.

"Yes again." The coach said as Dib got up, picked up his boots and headed out the door.

"They send you to the counselor's office again?" Zim taunted.

"Yes." Dib moaned.

"Victory for Zim! Even if I will have to use all my cleansing chalk after this." Zim said.

"I hate you." Dib moaned.

**So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Let me know in a review. Yes I have a Beavis and Butthead reference in here and Futurama with the sweaty boot rash thing but really, if you think about it, that has to be a real issue because goth boots like Dib wears is not the best for things like that. They'll get really sweaty really fast. This whole thing started as a funny idea I had a for a comic and knowing I cannot draw well, I remembered I am pretty good at writing and made it come to life there. I may be busy as hell from now till April but I can post a little bit. Don't fret any fans of my other works. Anyway remember to read (well you just did) and to review. Ciao for now,**

**otherrealmwriter**

**aka**

**Realm. **


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